HAHAHAHAHAHA. Wow, the best one is "A 2nd Lieutenant saying, 'Based on my experience...'"
Thats not completely outside the realm of possibility. After all, I had nearly 11 years enlisted time in before I got my commission as a 2nd Looie.
Now, the one about the Warrant Officer? Yeah, I have known several Warrants like that. Very astute, very Knowledgeable, and just a bit crazy.