Moderator: Community Manager
[Post Reply] [*]  Page 3 of 3  [ 24 posts ]  Go to page « 1 2 3
Author Message
Soode
Post subject: Re: First Aircraft Carrier ChallengePosted: July 14th, 2023, 4:15 pm
Offline
Posts: 50
Joined: December 25th, 2020, 10:45 pm
Well, now that the challenge is over, I can go ahead and post my detailed comments on the entries.

As with prior challenges, there's a lot of overlap between what I'm about to say. So rather than just reading your personal section, I recommend you read through others' too, because you may find stuff that applies to your ship but that I decided not to duplicate.

IJN Ōsumi (Ultraking101)
My first reaction was: "A sub-10,000-ton treaty loophole carrier! That's an idea I've been playing with too!"
My second reaction was: "Okay, but she looks awfully small for just shy of 10,000 tonnes."
So I plugged her dimensions into Springsharp, measuring draft and LWL from the image and estimating waterline beam at 50ft. For the required displacement of 9,567 tonnes standard, you'd need a block coefficient of 0.793, about as blocky as an oil tanker. With a more reasonable .500, you're looking at about 6,000 tonnes standard. This may be a useful comment for others as well.
Besides this, she looks good overall. I think the arresting gear could get more detailing, and maybe nets amidships as well to separate landing and taking-off aircraft, but respectable work overall.

MNS Ørn (CF-18)
It's harder to comment on aviation facilities with a side view only, so I'll fixate on deck heights instead. Deck heights within the hull appear to be 16px inclusive of both lines, which is on the short end but still doable, except that I'd leave extra space under the flight deck for its supports and structure. The quarterdeck also seems to cut off between two decks. Decks on the island are another matter: it seems the first two are 16px inclusive, again reasonable, then the third is 13px inclusive, or 4.5 feet if you're standing on the floor and hunching your head to avoid hitting the pipes and structure of the deck above you. Go measure how high 4.5 feet is, and imagine a 5'5" sailor trying to run through that space hunched over. The spotting tower is even worse, at 11px inclusive, and while it might be doable with an open-topped level above and an enclosed one below, that isn't what your window placement implies. I'm also not sure what the transition from tripod to monopod implies, or what the triangles jutting out are supposed to represent, as there are no lines running up or down from them.

Leonardo Da Vinci (Karle94)
[in unison] "Da Vinki??"

My first thought is that I'm rather skeptical about the backstory of not merely a battleship conversion--not merely a conversion of a battleship that suffered a magazine explosion--but conversion of a battleship that suffered a magazine explosion and capsized in 11m of water (and presumably had a major hull breach in order to do this) and remained underwater corroding for 5 years and was towed around upside-down after being refloated. It's one thing to raise a torpedoed ship like California that settled in muddy soil at a slight list, but this is something else. At that point I'd expect very serious structural damage to the hull, calling to mind the way Amagi was written off as a carrier conversion after the Great Kanto Earthquake. But there's no scoring item for backstory, so... Instead I'll ask about the superstructure.

What was the rationale for keeping the bridge under the flight deck? It's one thing to do this in order to keep the deck clear and unobstructed; but in addition to two funnels and two tripod masts, you have two masts forward (non-folding) and eight 102mm AA guns on deck-height platforms flanking the flight deck, at a height that will clip off the wingtips of landing aircraft. Adding even a wraparound control post over the forward searchlight would greatly improve navigation at no cost to deck space, beyond costs already imposed. Moreover, not all bridges-below-flight-deck are made equal: between (literally) the structure under the flight deck, the three antiquated QF guns on either side, the anchor handling gear forward, the rising bow, and the lack of bridge wings, you're looking at extremely restricted visibility. Well, really, you're not looking at anything except other parts of your own ship.

ES Atropus (Armoured Man)
I'm not going to rehash the whole hull plating debate, because that ship has sailed (on a roll, aren't I). But I will say that at 100% zoom and on a regular monitor, the combination of dark lines and light rivets look more like artifacting than deliberate detailing. The use of lighter shading on the doors only adds to the effect. I also question the use of double-wide net supports, and their spacing so close together.

Though I appreciate the AU commitment of using a fictional dating system, it does make it difficult to judge whether given features are anachronistic. Is this equivalent to 1923 in our timeline? In that case, the transverse arresting gear system is very advanced for the time, not only in concept but in execution. Or is it equivalent to 1935? In that case, it's fine, though the air wing would be a little dated.

At least the bridge has excellent visibility despite being under the flight deck. And the detailing of parts in the hangar and open-sided superstructure areas is very nice.

ARN Kanade (TNGShM)
Similar comment about AU timelines. If this is meant to represent 1918, then it's realistically flawed; any later, and it should be clear that a centreline superstructure is unwise. 2cm (20mm) AA autocannons, meanwhile, are wayy ahead of their time for 1918 or even 1935. The crane looks like a late-war IJN crane.

This is also a case where a top view could prove helpful. It sounds like the Yachiho class were designed to be very fast cruisers with a light cruiser hullform, and their beam of 18m is sleeker than the Myoko class. Consider, though, the forward superstructure. We can see that the hangar is narrower than the hull at deck level, because there's a walkway around it. Considerably narrower, in fact, because there's space for someone to rotate and operate a 20mm autocannon. The sides of the hangar are slab-sided, and the flight deck does not overhang this structure, so we aren't getting added width that way. And the central superstructure has wings on either side with rangefinders, so it's projecting out. Between all this, how much space is there, actually, to lower an attack aircraft onto where the crane is resting, accounting for its wingspan and a certain margin of error? There might actually be none at all, bridge+rangefinder+20mm rotating footprint could easily eat up 18m of beam all by itself.

Angol (RAIDer1_1)
Another case for the value of a top view, at least as a halfscale design sketch. Many features arranged around the deck--the rangefinder forward, the boats, the base of the funnel--suggest that the hangar walls are substantially offset inward from the sides of the hull. The starboard side crane also implies that the flight deck is narrower than the hull at the strength deck. The bridge is, at a glance, well-positioned, but the hull should be quite narrow there for a battlecruiser hull, which also raises questions about the boat deck forward. The stern should also be pointed for a battlecruiser of that era, so vertical supports from there imply a very narrow flight deck.

Check your deck heights too, especially within the hull (a break in deck heights will create structural problems) and the island.

In the service of "informed greebling," here's a list of essential but missing components you can add to decorate the side view. This is non-exhaustive, and let's not get into semantic debates over the precisely preferred term, the point is if you want to be able to tie your ship up at a pier you have to include the equipment for doing so.
- Chocks/hawseholes/loops you run the ropes through
- Bollards/bitts/things you tie the ropes around
- Spooled ropes
- Firefighting hoses
- Anchor chains
- Capstans
- Mushroom vents
- Stbd nav light
- Stowed gangway
- Hangar ventilation

RLMS Kitsune (VC)
This is an amazing entry in both design and drawing quality, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't occasionally refer to it for guidance with mine. Honestly speechless the longer I look at it. Good drawing of flight deck supports, excellent placement of the below-deck bridge, detailing strikes a balance of complex but not garish. Top view and side view inform one another, design choices are logical for the era, and I can't find an irrational deck height on the whole ship.

Still, obligatory nitpicks, because that's how I am:
[*]Not sure how I feel about the planking in various colors. Is this against the style? What do other people think?
[*]While I massively appreciate a fellow longitudinal arresting gear appreciator, you could probably afford to draw the pulleys for keeping them taut and the supports (there are various designs) for raising them above the flight deck.
[*]Some of your boats should be visible on the top view, possibly some aft equipment too.

AD-1 Aeroplane (corp)
Aesthetically, this entry feels very washed-out overall, especially on the side view. The shading gaps are very small, and on this topic, the hull shading lines are rather odd--it's not clear what shading rule this is supposed to follow, unless it's some kind of camo pattern?

Design-wise, the arresting gear is likely anachronistic for 1926, especially with the writeup stressing that Shintari wasn't particularly ahead of the game in carrier development. The anchor appears to be pointing the wrong way. The deck heights are hard to gauge, the only clearly objectionable area is the quarterdeck which seems to imply a 13px inclusive deck forward. All other design flaws feel natural for the era, to my eyes.

HMS Amphritite (Rodondo)
This entry also feels washed-out, as if it's been run through a slight sepia filter. I don't think I agree with the particular way of depicting plating used here, either. I can sympathize with wanting to break up the slab-like sides, but the alternating light and dark high-contrast lines give it an almost corrugated look.

Design-wise, same critiques w.r.t. arresting gear, by 1918 the Royal Navy had settled on simpler longitudinal arresting gear and you certainly have the deck space to make it work. Save the transverse wires for a future refit. I'd also expect to see more boats for a ship this size, unless they're in the lower hangar and get rolled out onto the quarterdeck somehow.

Otherwise, very nice work.

Archangel Michael (APDAF)
I am actually quite interested to hear the backstory, if only because your hull is 834 feet long overall, longer than the Amagi and Kii classes. That's one hell of a battleship hull to have "left over."

Transverse catapults were done at various points, but were they done in 1925? And what are those AA guns on the hull platforms? Typical flak armament in 1925 is four 3" HA guns; this ship appears to be carrying a lot more than that, both in quantity and in caliber.

The hangar sides feel both cluttered and bare at the same time. You might consider thinking about how the AA platform supports interact with the walkways below them, where other doors into the hangar might be, what the deck heights should be, and so on.

ORS Exsplorar (_Zustt_)
I rated this one above-average in drawing quality, and it does have some nifty design features. Bar the same comments about multicolored planking, the top view is very nicely executed, and it's clear that the top and side views inform one another, mutually dictating things like AA platform placement. I do like the bridge arrangement, with a wheelhouse under the flight deck and seemingly another demi-island on the "shoulder" looking ahead.

Beyond that, I start to see more issues. First, the transverse arresting gear is very anachronistic on this ship. Remember that as recently as 1911, the first landing aboard a flight deck (USS Pennsylvania) was conducted using arresting gear that consisted of ropes tied between sandbags. By 1914, your choices are simple longitudinal arresting gear, or nothing. The short flight deck and single elevator will also hamper operations, and the net won't so much separate landing and takeoff operations as prevent landing aircraft from passing all the way over the A turret. Speaking of which, the elevator seems very narrow, unless you've already mastered folding wings by this time? In any case, top views of the aircraft (including with wings folded, if necessary) would help.

The speed of 24.5 knots is troublingly low, and while I could understand this if it were a conversion of a pre-dreadnought battlecruiser (heavy armored cruiser) hull, the description seems to imply that these were new-build designs... in which case, surely you'd want to at least keep pace with contemporary battlecruisers? Actually, come to think of it, is this implying that Ocissana's newest battlecruiser class in 1914 was similar to this, with 2x2 205mm guns and a top speed of 24.5 knots? A low top speed is one thing if you expect your carrier to operate like an auxiliary ship out of the enemy's reach, but if you think a surface clash is likely enough to sacrifice flight deck and hangar length for gun turrets fore and aft, surely you'd prioritize enough speed to match the latest battlecruisers in running and maneuvering?

Karl Marx (Maxwell John)
Overall, a lot of the same issues I've pointed out in prior entries combine together for this one. The flight deck is considerably narrower than the weather deck; there doesn't seem to be any attention to deck heights within the hangar area; the gun platforms leave very narrow firing arcs, especially for what I assume are the anti-air guns; the top speed would seriously hinder her usefulness. Aesthetically, there's also a big gap in detail between the hull and island, which appear to be (credited) from Karle94's work, and the hangar sides, which appear to be the original additions.

Because this seems to be a beginner design, I would recommend that you look through the other higher-scoring entries for ideas on how to improve your work.

RN Gaspare Eusebio Duca di Vancamento (B. von Teapot)
This is an odd ship for me to comment on because it's ostensibly based on a real never-were. Still, I can raise a lot of issues about the interpretation and execution of the vague never-were plans. The barbettes look far too narrow for quadruple 9" turrets; maybe even cramped for twin 9" turrets. The floatplane ramp aft is unreasonably steep at its forward end, and I don't see any substantial crane or winch or hoist to assist in pulling a seaplane up that slope, nor any way of transferring a seaplane from there onto the flight deck or into the hangar. The cutout even seems to bite into the aft armor belt and the steering gear compartment below it. I understand these are all originally issues with the sketch as designed, but perhaps there's creative space to add in necessary details (cranes, doors) that aren't shown on the sketch?

Hangmo Il-ho (Soode)
Self-comment time: What made this design good? Well, ultimately quality is in the eye of the beholder; for example, I had expected VC to get a close second, not 5th. So maybe people picked up on things that I didn't pay much attention to, or didn't notice things that I did pay attention to. Still, here are some positive qualities for others to look at, I guess.

First, the arresting gear. Transverse cables with pulleys at the ends are what everyone thinks about when they picture maritime arresting gear, but they didn't really mature until the late 1920s. USS Langley, for example, was built with longitudinal arresting gear and received her transverse system in a 1929 refit. Until then, longitudinal arresting gear was the preferred option: hooks on the forward axle or bar would snag the wires, to slow down the plane by means of friction, prevent it from bouncing back up again, and also prevent it from careening off to either side. I also depicted a pulley system to keep the wires taut more easily. This system is less effective than a mature transverse arresting gear system, but it has the advantage of being much less complex, and more technologically mature for the era. It's also a neat bit of aviation history to illustrate.

Second, the structure. With the help of archive photos, modeling sites, and--yes--WOWS 3D models, I paid careful attention to the structure of the latticework under USS Langley's flight deck and tried to emulate it here. This was easier because I used layering to separate out the various platforms, nets, and equipment, allowing me to scoot components up or down, fore or aft, without having to redraw extensively each time. Note also the expansion joints, clearest on the top view but also on the side view, and the way the forward-most supports are shaded (canted out) because the hull gets narrower there. In halfscale drafts, I had separate top-view layers for the hangar deck and the flight deck, to check that the supports linked between them correctly; I also had a layer in between where I arranged aircraft silhouettes, to confirm that I could fit 12 attack aircraft and 12 fighters.

Third, the doctrine. I won't re-explain it, but in my post I go into some depth to explain not only what tradeoffs were taken, but also why they were taken, how Menghe justified them, and in some cases, how they turned out in the end. This is a good place to think about that careful balance of making things "realistically bad."

_________________
Currently posting my latest ship art on my Menghean Navy AU thread, but most of my stuff is on iiWiki.

A bad peace is preferable to a terrible war.


Top
[Profile] [Quote]
Just A CF-18 Here
Post subject: Re: First Aircraft Carrier ChallengePosted: July 14th, 2023, 5:38 pm
Offline
User avatar
Posts: 75
Joined: June 3rd, 2022, 7:23 pm
Location: Eating a sandwich on a boat, in the ocean, on plant earth, in space :]
Thanks for the comments Soode, deck heights is something i struggle with so I'll keep that in mind.

_________________
"The further you are from the sound of guns, the less you understand."
- General Walter Natyncyk, CAF

Project list -
realstrange
USN Hellcat sheet
Greek F-16's
USAAF B-24 Liberator mega sheet (Europe, Italy/North Africa, and Pacific)


Top
[Profile] [Quote]
Hood
Post subject: Re: First Aircraft Carrier ChallengePosted: July 15th, 2023, 9:17 am
Offline
Posts: 7233
Joined: July 31st, 2010, 10:07 am
Some feedback from me (whatever it's worth) and rationales for my scores awarded.

Ultraking101 Ōsumi Class: nice concept, nice backstory (not that I award points for that), a nicely drawn ship and overall a nice Hosho copy. Sticking with Hosho's very constrained hangar arrangements lost points with me, in fact only now have I realised the rear hangar is actually deeper than the forward hangar. Artistically, some overhangs are lack shadowing, so lost points here too. So my marking might have been a little harsh here. A nice Hosho clone but little original here.

CF-18 Ørn Class: here we have an HMS Eagle clone. Design wise nothing controversial here, I wanted to see more Eagle's aerodynamic features on the deck to be honest, this deck feels a little flat. Artistically its OK, the colour palette made it hard to make out the shades though. The island looks a bit bare. Your skill has come on a long way in a short time and it's making good progress with each drawing. Overall it's a nice Eagle clone but little original here.

Karle94 Leonardo da Vinci: sadly I was expecting more from one of our AU warship masters. Overall the design seems plausible for any early conversion - I'll pass over how feasible rebuilding a blown up wreck is. I found the bridge location odd too and very constrained. I guess given how some real conversions had such crappy ideas that it's realistic, but it is less than optimal. Having large fixed funnels I thought more use might be made to add platforms to them for conning/flight control etc. I feel that the side of the flight deck could have done with some shading/angles unless it really is a straight rectangle from bow to stern?

Armoured man Atropus Class: hull plating to win points is a bad move with me, adding some weird random rivets just makes it worse, looks crappy and lost 3 full points off the art score. Overall the basic design looks sound, although the provision of a catapult this early (whatever 1823 equates to) seems too advanced and pointless given the average biplane of this era should get off the deck ok with good wind over the deck.

TNGShM Kanade: HMS Vindictive lives again! Certainly not the most practical carrier ever, but then neither was Vindictive! I thought the midships crane looked pretty cool. Overall decently drawn, maybe a little more overhang shadow would have been nice for the flight deck.

RAIDER1_1 Angol class: well its a carrier of sorts. A lot to unpack here, odd deck heights, strange island layout, the weird funnel, the structurally unsound forecastle break, the odd upwards lip on the forward edge of the flight deck. Too cartoony really, I can see the intent and some nice ideas but just not put together well to be realistic enough to score out of the bottom quarter of the points available.

VC_ Kitsune class: A lot going on here, lots of girders and angles and roller doors and hanging aircraft, visually it looks a little chaotic. I was a little worried about strong the hangar structure is, the majority looked open sided/with roller doors but I don't know how stable and resistant to twisting it would be, it looked a little too open-sided and flimsy to me. Plus I wasn't totally sure what the 'wriggly' side panelling was at the aft end and near the forward HA directors. The top view is impressive, probably the best wood effect wood I've ever seen, although maybe a little pale for carrier decks, I thought it would probably be treated and coated on the deck.

Corp Aeroplane Class: Just noted the wonky 'S' in class on the template! Overall interesting, the majority of the design looks feasible - except for the hemmed in midships between funnels and islands. Sure its ahead of the arrester wires and aft of the take-off run up but the turbulent airflow aft would cause issues with landing. Perhaps it was a Macguffin for the backstory but just detracts a little from the design. Adding seaplanes was a neat touch.

Rodondo HMS Amphitrite: HMS Argus writ large! Positives - I love the concept and colours and the aircraft. Negatives, what's with the hull plating continuing up the hangar sides? That seems very unusual for superstructures in this period, I would have assumed a flatter, smoother plating finish rather than hull plating extended all the way to the flight deck. Visually it looked very odd to me. I was also unsure whether a double-hangar would be used in 1918, it feels like pushing things a little too far in the evolution, plus you only have two lifts which might constrain movement of aircraft around the ship.
What are the large black outlined sections on the funnels?

APDAF Archangel Class: some interesting features - flying boat catapults etc. but some weird deck heights (that odd lower flying off deck platform just above the forecastle) and the two large catapult cut outs seemed wasteful. The guns seem liberally scattered - overall the ship feels too big and stuff thrown in to fill up the space. One pixel thick overhang shading is old school, really this needed better shading.

_Zustt_ Exsplorar Class: an interesting design straying into hybrid warship territory. I am not sure how feasible it would be to use the flighdeck, it looks very small with poor aerodynamics given the updraughts coming off the forecastle and turret and the large chop down to the after turret. So for me this lost realism points (all hybrids suffer from this). Nicely drawn, though the funnels feel a bit tacked on. A bit more overhang shading wouldn't hurt either.

maxwell john Karl Marx: a large grey rectangle plonked onto an existing hull. A very basic cut and paste kitbash.

BvonTeapot Gaspare Eusebio Duca di Vancamento: I am surprised that Giuseppe Rotta's incroiatore-portaerei design didn't score higher. Overall a fair adaptation of Rotta's design, actually it's better than the original. Hybrids always loose marks with me in these kind of challenges for realism but overall its well drawn and nicely thought out to avoid the mistakes that Rotta made. Again, perhaps needed more overhang shading.

Soode Hangmo Il-ho: like VC's Kitsune class this design seemed terribly basic, a bunch of girders bolted to the hull. VC made some effort at weather protection but this looks like an open box girder. Lots of impressive girdery to draw. Is it wise to have the funnels venting through the outboard safety nets? Maybe Menghean pilots like landing through heat and smoke plumes? Despite that it's overall a decent enough design, just seems a little flawed for oceanic use. Topview looks ok, planking is perhaps too uniform though, feels like a cut n paste repeat.

_________________
Hood's Worklist
English Electric Canberra FD
Interwar RN Capital Ships
Super-Darings
Never-Were British Aircraft


Top
[Profile] [Quote]
TNGShM
Post subject: Re: First Aircraft Carrier ChallengePosted: July 16th, 2023, 3:43 am
Offline
User avatar
Posts: 41
Joined: November 20th, 2021, 7:54 pm
Location: USA
Thank you for the critiques on my drawing! It's kind of a dead end thing since I'm basically redrawing the entire AU starting with DDs, but I'll be sure to keep these critiques in mind the next time I draw an early CV.

_________________
I don't know what I'm doing half the time so please cut me some slack.

CURRENT AND PLANNED PROJECTS (in order of first priority)
- Altesian battlecruisers
- Altesian destroyers
- Altesian cruisers
- Altesian ironclads
- History & maps of the Alteias Republic AU


Top
[Profile] [Quote]
Display: Sort by: Direction:
[Post Reply]  Page 3 of 3  [ 24 posts ]  Return to “Drawing Challenges” | Go to page « 1 2 3

Jump to: 

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 28 guests


The team | Delete all board cookies | All times are UTC


Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Limited
[ GZIP: Off ]