It is much much better. The only issue I currently spot, is the stern section, where the different decks sizes meet in the stern. The Turret ship had a sort of a midsection where the upper deck was truncked but it didn't go all the way to stern, much like the way in the bows, that you illustrated in a good way.
Apart from the above I feel that some more details will be a boost to your drawing.
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Thank you Kim for the crest
"Never fear to try on something new. Remember that the Titanic was built by professionals, and the Ark by an amateur"